Now, firstly, let me explain my relationship with my Grandma. My middle name is after her (Elizabeth) and she was the only one of my Grandparents that I had the opportunity to build a relationship with in the life. Grandma lived in Council Bluffs, Iowa - about 1000 miles from Hyrum, Utah. That never stopped her from making sure to be part of our lives. She flew to Utah as often as possible. She was present for birthdays (not every year, but when she could), she made it to graduations, and always knew when big events were happening in mine and my brother's lives. We received phone calls, cards, and gifts for every birthday, Christmas, and major event. Despite distance, I never doubted how much Grandma loved and wanted to be part of my life.
Grandma worked hard throughout her life. She spent many years as a seamstress (unfortunately I did not inherit the artistic gene) for a large furniture manufacturer. She worked tirelessly to raise 5 kids while helping my Grandfather, who worked as a long-haul truck driver, support the family. 24 years ago, when I was only 8 months old, Grandpa passed away unexpectedly. That left Grandma, only in her early 60s, a widow. She retired when I was a kid, but that did not last long. She found a love working as an aide on a special needs school bus. Grandma would light up when she spoke about the children she worked with. She did this for many years, until her health no longer allowed it. In recent years, Grandma's health declined drastically. 7 years ago at my high school graduation, I remember having to have multiple people help brace her to get to the event. Stubborn as she was, she refused a cane or walker, and even in the final days of her life complained that she was made to use one.
In the final years, Grandma's memory also started to fade. Dementia took over and she struggled to remember many simple things. About 3.5 years ago, my cousins and I, some of whom I had never met, decided to all meet at Grandma's to celebrate her 84th birthday. It was an amazing time, having almost all of the family together, as we live all across the country. We all also knew that we were nearing the end of Grandma's life and that this would likely be the only time during her life that we got to be together. Just a couple months later it became evident that Grandma could no longer care for herself with all of her health, mobility and memory issues and she was admitted to a care facility, where she would spend her last couple years of life.
While I have many memories of my Grandma, from her taking us places during our visits to Iowa/her visits to Utah, her disciplining me when my little firecraker attitude got the best of me, her stories of her younger days, and the classic 'Grandma house' when we went to visit, the memory that will always stick with me was the last time we met in this life. Just two weeks before her passing, I was in Kansas City, visiting with my cousins there. I had reached out to my uncle, Grandma's oldest son, to let him know I was in town. I planned to meet up with him at some point in the trip, when on Saturday night, he called me up to let me know that he was driving to Council Bluffs (about a 3 hour drive) the next day to visit with Grandma and inquired if I would like to join him. I had other plans for my Sunday, but had a feeling that I should take my uncle up on the offer. He picked me up early the next morning and we headed towards Iowa. When we arrived, he gave me directions to Grandma's room in the care center while he stayed outside to have a cigarette. I walked the halls, quite apprehensive to see Grandma, as the stories my uncles told of her present state sounded not so great. I poked my head in the room; Grandma was sitting, asleep in her wheelchair facing away from the door. I walked in, tapped my hand on her shoulder, and softly greeted her. Once awake, I asked Grandma if she knew who I was. I knew that this would likely be the most hearbreaking part of the visit, as I had heard that she no longer knew her own children some days. Once I told her my name and that I was Diane's daughter, she made some connection. My uncle joined us in the room shortly after, and the 3 of us chatted for a couple hours. Grandma made connections to things in very interesting ways. She recognized that I was my mom's daughter and that my uncle lives in KC, so she kept bringing up my mom's childhood friend, who also lives in Kansas City. After a nice conversation, my uncle and I prepared to leave; as I hugged my Grandma for the last time, she spoke the same words that she had spoken for 23 years 'be good. I love you.' I knew that day it would be the last time I saw my Grandmother; she had a different countenance than ever before. She just seemed different. I knew that the end of her life was near, but I had no idea that it would come just 12 days later.
The 5am phone call. A call you never want to receive. I wake up for work between 5-5:30, so when my phone rang, I was already half awake. As my mom broke the news, she and I shared tears, then I had to get ready for work. I headed into the office, tried to put on a brave face, but couldn't do it. I needed my space and I needed to make arrangements to get back to Iowa. I worked from home the rest of that day and booked a flight. I was very grateful for my coworkers/managers who worked with me to get the time off to make it back to Iowa for Grandma's funeral.
While a funeral is never a happy occasion, it was an amazing experience to have all 5 children and 9 grandchildren together for the first time ever. Our family has a wide range of spiritual and religious beliefs. Grandma was a strong Methodist woman. After her passing, I took her personal bible which I have loved having something so personal and important in her life. As we all said goodbye to my Grandma that day, I know that she was watching over us as she and my Grandpa were having a reunion after 23 years apart. I remember hugging my youngest cousin, only 9 years old, and assuring him that Grandma was happy and back with Grandpa again.
I know that we will be reunited on the other side of the veil. I know that through the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, families will be together forever. I am grateful for this in my life. Thank you, Grandma White, for your example to me. Thank you for always being a part of my life and for being a rock through thick and thin. Thank you for teaching me how to be a strong woman, a woman who knows what she wants and won't back down. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I look forward to the time when we meet once again. Until then; be good. I love you.
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